As I'm sure I've made everyone painfully aware of at this point, running is not my fave. In truth, it's not just running because there are a lot of weeks where the workouts my trainer gives me are not my favorite. Sometimes they're exciting, but sometimes not so much. (Like this week, where I am doing a lot of movements with weights that kind of cause me to freak out, and then psych myself out a little bit. I guess that is exciting, but not in a happy way.)
What are my favorites? Swimming. Walking. Those are things I'm good at and can do and feel real accomplishment moving in to take the place of the stress that is leaving me. I also miss the adrenaline of kickboxing, though I was never really, aweseomely skilled at it.
So, running and lifting can be challenging for me in the best of weeks. Getting to the gym is half of the battle because it means I've won the mental struggle saying, "Wouldn't you prefer to read a nice book instead?." Why yes, I would, damnit (and I have a stack of good ones just waiting for me), but that will not help me feel better in my clothes, or in my skin.
I belong to a gym that stays open 24-7. When I joined it was because of the convenience of location, the decent price, and the plethora of cardio machines; not because I envisioned myself working out at all hours of the night. In fact, I thought, "Oh, I'll never work out that late." Ohhhhhh how foolish of me. It's like I blocked out the fact that two months out of the year I log a minimum of 55 hours of work per week. It's also pretty common for me to eat dinner after 9pm at least 2 nights a week even when it's not "the busy season". Wake up, Christie, your job is insane. Seriously working out seriously means working out at some pretty weird hours and that has been true for the 5+ years you've had this job.
This month has been a tough one at work. I have had exactly three work days where I wasn't on the road driving from center to center in Colorado, and two of those days were because I flew out and was visiting two centers in Utah. If you're wondering, no, I don't have to do less paperwork when I'm on the road this much. In fact, I have more because each visit has an equal and opposite follow up report. I just end up working more and more hours at times like this, while still getting more and more behind on office tasks. (Maybe you weren't wondering but obviously I needed to vent that thought anyways. ) So, it's actually kind of amazing that so far this month, I have not had to use the late-night gym drop-in. Until tonight.
It was a long-ass day. And all day long I had to keep on reminding myself, "You still have to fit in some quality sweaty time!" A little personal pre-frame. You will go running. Yep, it'll be late, but that run will happen. I left the house at 8:30 am with a stuffed messenger bag with my computer and some of what I call, "bringing the office on my back." I had a second messenger bag full of copies for meetings and presentations I was leading today. This was joined by a 94 ounces of water, and a ziploc full of snacks. My purse, of course (and yep, I still have that tiny-deodarant in there) and my gym bag. I had a meeting, some lunch (not the healthiest choice, but some real protein and veggies) drove an hour, and then found myself with 45 minutes to kill. So, I grabbed some caffeine and free wi-fi about a block from the place where I was going to be giving back-to-back presentations. In the block drive from the coffee shop to the center I knew something was off but not until I parked and started to haul things out of my car was it clear that I had a flat tire. Ugh. That was about hour 11 of my 14 hour day. And I knew there were still two hours of presenting and 60-90 minutes of driving home if only the tire could be changed. No matter - one brief and bad phone-under-running-water moment and visit from the friendly neighborhood AAA burly man and two presentations later I was back on the road and pulling into the gym parking lot at just before 10 pm.
I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back, but it's fricken hard to make yourself drive to the gym and not directly home after working that long. I fight with myself about getting my workouts done all the time, but the voices entreating me to go home and get comfy are much more insistent after working for more than 12 hours straight. The flat tire alone and the stress of that made me long for my bed and a way to shut the book on this day. But I did it, grudgingly. I seriously couldn't even get into thinking about zombies as motivation for my treadmill time. But I also couldn't hold meetings about results and give presentations about accountability and then drive home and not put my time in. I heard myself say to someone today, "The time will pass either way, it's a choice of whether or not the family chooses to use it making things better or staying the same." That statement applies to me too - the day, week, month and year will go by no matter what I do or don't do; it's my choice whether or not to use it to get healthier and achieve some of my goals.
So, there I was, 10 pm, suiting up for a run that I absolutely, positively did not want to do. But a funny thing happened. Once I won the internal battle to get out of my car and go inside the gym, getting on the treadmill and running wasn't as hard as it sometimes is at much more reasonable times of the day. It was as if something deep inside me, something quiet and subconscious was saying, "you already did a 14 hour day, a stressful phone moment, a flat tire, and meetings and presentations. Of course you can run for 30 minutes. " So, I ran. I didn't jog, I ran. I ran above 5.5 most of the time, and where my longest interval of running before had been 5 minutes, I ran for 7 minutes for my first interval and for 5 minutes for my second interval. I sprinted at 6.2 and above. I finished my "assignment" of running 2 miles with 2.5 minutes to spare on the time I was supposed to be keeping. I kept all of my rests (otherwise known as walking) to three minutes or less. I exceeded my required mileage by a quarter mile. What the WHAT?!
If running keeps going this well I will have to give up my fun habit of making jokes about running and zombies. Hmmmmm. That would be too sad since I've held out for a year and I am a mere two weeks away from zombie season! (aiiiiiiieeeee!!!!) While I ponder that, let me say this: I was not alone at the gym at 10pm.
There were 5 other people on treadmills, 2 on stairmasters, and 2 on ellipticals. Apparently stationary bikes and rowing are just not cool after sundown, but I can report that there were two women dealing with bathing suits in the dressing room at 10:45 pm suggesting that swimming is a fine exercise choice in the dark of the night. Who are these people? Parents who can only work out at weird times? Students who are over-committed? Insomniacs? People like me whose jobs don't allow them to have a life?
From outside appearances, those people are me. They were there reading paperwork on the stairmaster. They were there with their cell phone in the drink holder. They were 30-somethings and most of them had some extra fluff and the grim look of, "I have to do this no matter what." They are my people.I joined them proudly with my iPhone-as-iPod (thank god it did not get drowned in that sink-mishap) and a run that I did mostly with my eyes closed because watching the clock inch towards 11pm while I was on a treadmill instead of tucked in bed with a book was a little horrifying.
I might have to go back late at night sometime and see if this magic late-night run effect can be reproduced. But in the meantime, it's very important that I sleep.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Speak up
Helllloooooo! Hello out there!
I have well over 500 page views at this point. Each day, it surprises me to see how many posts have been read. I started this thinking that a few people might sometimes read my blog. For the most part I needed an outlet to rediscover some of my creativity, a place where I could "think out loud" and some ways to hold myself accountable.
I've gotten well over 500 page views in the month since I've started writing, so I know this blog is no longer just for me. For the most part, people have responded by telling me on Facebook or in other ways that they like it and that it speaks to them, or that they like my voice or writing style. And those are always nice things to hear. Sometimes I'll be talking to a friend and they'll say something that refers to my blog, or that assumes knowledge from what I've written rather than anything I've said to them. Those are good moments because in those moments I know I have readers.
What I don't know is which posts, which topics, really reach out to people or grab readers. What do you wonder more about? What do you want to hear less about? What questions do I leave unanswered that you'd like to know more about? Speak up! I want to hear from y'all.
(And thank you so much for reading. It really does help and humble me.)
I have well over 500 page views at this point. Each day, it surprises me to see how many posts have been read. I started this thinking that a few people might sometimes read my blog. For the most part I needed an outlet to rediscover some of my creativity, a place where I could "think out loud" and some ways to hold myself accountable.
I've gotten well over 500 page views in the month since I've started writing, so I know this blog is no longer just for me. For the most part, people have responded by telling me on Facebook or in other ways that they like it and that it speaks to them, or that they like my voice or writing style. And those are always nice things to hear. Sometimes I'll be talking to a friend and they'll say something that refers to my blog, or that assumes knowledge from what I've written rather than anything I've said to them. Those are good moments because in those moments I know I have readers.
What I don't know is which posts, which topics, really reach out to people or grab readers. What do you wonder more about? What do you want to hear less about? What questions do I leave unanswered that you'd like to know more about? Speak up! I want to hear from y'all.
(And thank you so much for reading. It really does help and humble me.)
Sunday, September 25, 2011
hiking
So, I went on my mini-cation. And it was AWESOME.
A lot of people wouldn't understand why I drove 7 total hours in a 36 hour period to go back and forth for this little mini-break. I did it for a lot of reasons. For one, I've been struggling in the last couple of weeks and when I'm spinning in circles often the best strategy is to step outside the groove I've dug myself in the ground. Another reason was that I never get enough time with the friend who invited me. We live an hour apart, and lead very different lives (and then enjoy comparing notes). So, the promise of some uninterrupted time with my smart and hilarious friend was a big lure. I also love seeing more of the giant state I live in. I drive all up and down the Front Range in Colorado for work, but this state is really giant compared to the ones I spent all my time in before. You can drive diagonally across Connecticut in less than the amount of time that I make a drive to Colorado Springs and back, and that's one of my longest work drives but only a small portion of the state. In the time it took me to drive from home to the hotel yesterday I used to be able to drive through part of NJ, NYC and the rest of NY, and most of CT to go see my fam. I love Colorado. It is big, beautiful, and parts of it are wild. It always surprises me how much of it is empty, because that doesn't exist on the East Coast. But it does take time to see enough of it to have a feeling for the state as a whole.
Although I'm not usually a sleep-under-the-stars, pee-outside, outdoorsy type person, in Colorado the need to experience what it has to offer in terms of natural beauty comes over me. I actively look for chances to get up at dawn, climb falls, head into caves, and see things up close and personal. And this location provided me with the chance to drive through some beautiful country as well as to experience up close and personal a waterfall, national forest and gorgeous hiking trails at Fish Creek Falls.
My friend and I packed a lot of vacation into one day. I loved all of it. We had a drunken margarita dinner with food that was more cheesy than is good for my weight-loss goals. We spent time in the hot tub and heated, lighted, swanky pool at night. We watched two movies, shopped, and talked about everything from boys, to children, from music tastes to our politics about guns, from Casey Anthony to how hard it is shop for sports bras. We slept. We pretended we were on a sleep over and talked about who our Hollywood boyfriend would be. We also got out of bed yesterday morning, ate bananas and granola bars, and headed out in our not as awesome clothes and hiked for 90 minutes. (Bonus, Saturday September 24th is National Lands Day or some such, so we didn't have to pay for parking.)
I am short, and I think I've mentioned I have short legs. I am also not the most coordinated or graceful person. This means hiking is not just uphill walking for me. It's real work. For most of my life (and by most, I don't mean half the years I've been alive, but rather, until 4 years ago) my allergies were so bad and my asthma was so unstable that cardio wasn't something I could sustain. And the one would trigger the other, so that several times a year I'd be so ill that for 2-6 weeks I would be unable to exercise at all. That's a major setback for someone like me. It made progress always 2-steps-forward-3-steps-back. So, I missed nearly three decades of building up my cardiovascular health.
I also have two bad knees. My left knee started partially dislocating known as subluxing patella when I was 10 or 11. The good news is that it's not a dislocation that needs to be reduced. The bad news is that it happened 3-6 times a year until my ACL was destroyed and full dislocations became the norm. I had that "fixed" when I was 20 after spending over half a year in a brace and/or on crutches (super fun in one of the iciest winters Western Mass has had in my lifetime, let me tell you) trying to avoid surgery. That surgery was so not fun, because I was trying to keep up a breakneck pace of working several part-time jobs to pay my way through school, as well as planning big things for my "honors thesis" (not what we call it at my college, but similar) and continuing some pretty rigorous study. It was also unthrilling because the three days after that reconstruction was when we discovered I cannot take pain killers. It was a long, long rehab. I'll say that.
So, last year, when my left knee with it's 10 year old ACL graft decided to fully dislocate, it's an understatement to say I was disheartened. I was also on a business trip so I had to reduce it myself (gross noises ensue), ice it, fly home, and wait the weekend before seeing a doctor here. He had a plan of physical therapy and then see-where-we-are. I did 6 weeks of PT and when I had but one appointment left, I was feeling very good. My friends were going to go out dancing and I had mentioned I wanted to go but would probably just meet them for dinner and then leave. My physical therapist said, "Just plan an outfit around wearing your knee brace, keep your feet parallel and on your ground, and don't do anything too crazy. Your left knee will hold up." And my left knee did hold up. But my right knee dislocated three times.
So, after four months of trying other things, last July I had the right knee reconstructed. We did a different reconstruction, and actually it was a longer surgery with more to fix but smaller incisions and less recovery time. But because the repairs were very different I have two very different not quite perfect knees now. I was able to return to personal training about a year ago. I was done with PT in November of last year. But since then, my trainer and I have worked continually on how I stand, how my feet turn in or out, strengthening my knees and legs, and doing many, many exercises that involve stabilizing myself on one leg. I spend a lot of my sweaty-time in any given week doing exercises that make me think about which muscles I'm using to stabilize my knee.
Hiking means doing this non-stop. Where are my feet being placed? How am I pushing up or stabilizing on the way down? Are my glutes activated? My core stable? My knees hyper-extended? How is my balance?
Hiking is hard work for everyone, but most probably put less thought into it. But it's also probably one of the best exercises for me. Instead of being a squat or a one-legged touchdown, this is a functional exercise that causes me to strengthen, practice stabilization of my bad joints, and get some cardio. Going up makes my whole body work and increases my heart rate. Going down is easier on my breathing, but makes my hips, core, glutes, and thighs work harder than pushing up, because I have to consciously control them in order for my knees to keep tracking properly. I know it seems counter-intuitive but down is harder than up. I experienced this for months after each knee surgery - going up stairs was work, but going down stairs was scary.
My friend and I had discussed the night before that neither of us felt the need to hike for hours and hours or sheer rock walls to get to a destination. I also warned her that I might be a bit slower than she was (and secretly hoped she would still like me at the end). So, when we got to Fish Creek Falls we looked at the "you are here" map and the trails and felt that either the trail marked "easy" or "moderate" would do. It turned out, though, that these were rolling strolls on paved walkways that ended in lookouts. It as awesome to see that the park had wheelchair accessible options, but didn't fit our need to get some exercise. So, we crossed the river and headed up the rocky, craggy, high grade hill. Yep, the difficult path.
Let me say this. I never tripped. I never completely lost my wind (despite being at a higher elevation than the town I live in). I never wanted to quit. But, my brain was going at every moment, my feet and knees were working hard, and I was sweaty within 10 minutes. We did stop a couple of times to let people pass us. One was an undergraduat-y looking guy who seemed to be jogging up the rocky hill. that's nice for him. The other was a group of women that we dubbed the "Barbie goes Hiking" group - they were having constant conversation about wedding vows and wedding vow renewals. We decided having them beat us for the front position was fine if it meant we didn't have to listen to them. But for the most part we were walking or hiking UP for 40-60 minutes steadily.
We did not make it to the lake. I would be willing to go back there with the right person or people (someone who is not leaping and jogging up the hill, people who get that I'm a little slower not because I'm wussy but because I have to do it right) and the water and food to do it for the day. But it was 5 miles to the lake, so 10 miles round trip. Nope, not our plan for the day. But we broke a good sweat and various sources estimate that we burned between 700-900 calories. It was great that we got to see some gorgeous pictures, amazing views, and quiet (minus the Barbie hikers). We realized as we were leaving that when we arrived there were half a dozen or so cars parked and when we left it was a full lot. We got there at the right time). And I got an opportunity to put everything I've been working on for the last 18 months into practice.
You would miss one run and sign up for one blister for this, right?
Then, we went shopping. I like to remember my trips by buying things I don't need.
I kept it under budget this time, and will always remember my awesome, unplanned, serendipitous weekend with my friend when I look at my bowl, pointless but hilarious little-shop-of-horrors steel art, and phone charger shelf. Happy, happy Christie. Thank you, thank you friend for being cool, smart, hilarious, and a fabulous friend.
A lot of people wouldn't understand why I drove 7 total hours in a 36 hour period to go back and forth for this little mini-break. I did it for a lot of reasons. For one, I've been struggling in the last couple of weeks and when I'm spinning in circles often the best strategy is to step outside the groove I've dug myself in the ground. Another reason was that I never get enough time with the friend who invited me. We live an hour apart, and lead very different lives (and then enjoy comparing notes). So, the promise of some uninterrupted time with my smart and hilarious friend was a big lure. I also love seeing more of the giant state I live in. I drive all up and down the Front Range in Colorado for work, but this state is really giant compared to the ones I spent all my time in before. You can drive diagonally across Connecticut in less than the amount of time that I make a drive to Colorado Springs and back, and that's one of my longest work drives but only a small portion of the state. In the time it took me to drive from home to the hotel yesterday I used to be able to drive through part of NJ, NYC and the rest of NY, and most of CT to go see my fam. I love Colorado. It is big, beautiful, and parts of it are wild. It always surprises me how much of it is empty, because that doesn't exist on the East Coast. But it does take time to see enough of it to have a feeling for the state as a whole.
Although I'm not usually a sleep-under-the-stars, pee-outside, outdoorsy type person, in Colorado the need to experience what it has to offer in terms of natural beauty comes over me. I actively look for chances to get up at dawn, climb falls, head into caves, and see things up close and personal. And this location provided me with the chance to drive through some beautiful country as well as to experience up close and personal a waterfall, national forest and gorgeous hiking trails at Fish Creek Falls.
My friend and I packed a lot of vacation into one day. I loved all of it. We had a drunken margarita dinner with food that was more cheesy than is good for my weight-loss goals. We spent time in the hot tub and heated, lighted, swanky pool at night. We watched two movies, shopped, and talked about everything from boys, to children, from music tastes to our politics about guns, from Casey Anthony to how hard it is shop for sports bras. We slept. We pretended we were on a sleep over and talked about who our Hollywood boyfriend would be. We also got out of bed yesterday morning, ate bananas and granola bars, and headed out in our not as awesome clothes and hiked for 90 minutes. (Bonus, Saturday September 24th is National Lands Day or some such, so we didn't have to pay for parking.)
I am short, and I think I've mentioned I have short legs. I am also not the most coordinated or graceful person. This means hiking is not just uphill walking for me. It's real work. For most of my life (and by most, I don't mean half the years I've been alive, but rather, until 4 years ago) my allergies were so bad and my asthma was so unstable that cardio wasn't something I could sustain. And the one would trigger the other, so that several times a year I'd be so ill that for 2-6 weeks I would be unable to exercise at all. That's a major setback for someone like me. It made progress always 2-steps-forward-3-steps-back. So, I missed nearly three decades of building up my cardiovascular health.
I also have two bad knees. My left knee started partially dislocating known as subluxing patella when I was 10 or 11. The good news is that it's not a dislocation that needs to be reduced. The bad news is that it happened 3-6 times a year until my ACL was destroyed and full dislocations became the norm. I had that "fixed" when I was 20 after spending over half a year in a brace and/or on crutches (super fun in one of the iciest winters Western Mass has had in my lifetime, let me tell you) trying to avoid surgery. That surgery was so not fun, because I was trying to keep up a breakneck pace of working several part-time jobs to pay my way through school, as well as planning big things for my "honors thesis" (not what we call it at my college, but similar) and continuing some pretty rigorous study. It was also unthrilling because the three days after that reconstruction was when we discovered I cannot take pain killers. It was a long, long rehab. I'll say that.
So, last year, when my left knee with it's 10 year old ACL graft decided to fully dislocate, it's an understatement to say I was disheartened. I was also on a business trip so I had to reduce it myself (gross noises ensue), ice it, fly home, and wait the weekend before seeing a doctor here. He had a plan of physical therapy and then see-where-we-are. I did 6 weeks of PT and when I had but one appointment left, I was feeling very good. My friends were going to go out dancing and I had mentioned I wanted to go but would probably just meet them for dinner and then leave. My physical therapist said, "Just plan an outfit around wearing your knee brace, keep your feet parallel and on your ground, and don't do anything too crazy. Your left knee will hold up." And my left knee did hold up. But my right knee dislocated three times.
So, after four months of trying other things, last July I had the right knee reconstructed. We did a different reconstruction, and actually it was a longer surgery with more to fix but smaller incisions and less recovery time. But because the repairs were very different I have two very different not quite perfect knees now. I was able to return to personal training about a year ago. I was done with PT in November of last year. But since then, my trainer and I have worked continually on how I stand, how my feet turn in or out, strengthening my knees and legs, and doing many, many exercises that involve stabilizing myself on one leg. I spend a lot of my sweaty-time in any given week doing exercises that make me think about which muscles I'm using to stabilize my knee.
Hiking means doing this non-stop. Where are my feet being placed? How am I pushing up or stabilizing on the way down? Are my glutes activated? My core stable? My knees hyper-extended? How is my balance?
Hiking is hard work for everyone, but most probably put less thought into it. But it's also probably one of the best exercises for me. Instead of being a squat or a one-legged touchdown, this is a functional exercise that causes me to strengthen, practice stabilization of my bad joints, and get some cardio. Going up makes my whole body work and increases my heart rate. Going down is easier on my breathing, but makes my hips, core, glutes, and thighs work harder than pushing up, because I have to consciously control them in order for my knees to keep tracking properly. I know it seems counter-intuitive but down is harder than up. I experienced this for months after each knee surgery - going up stairs was work, but going down stairs was scary.
My friend and I had discussed the night before that neither of us felt the need to hike for hours and hours or sheer rock walls to get to a destination. I also warned her that I might be a bit slower than she was (and secretly hoped she would still like me at the end). So, when we got to Fish Creek Falls we looked at the "you are here" map and the trails and felt that either the trail marked "easy" or "moderate" would do. It turned out, though, that these were rolling strolls on paved walkways that ended in lookouts. It as awesome to see that the park had wheelchair accessible options, but didn't fit our need to get some exercise. So, we crossed the river and headed up the rocky, craggy, high grade hill. Yep, the difficult path.
Let me say this. I never tripped. I never completely lost my wind (despite being at a higher elevation than the town I live in). I never wanted to quit. But, my brain was going at every moment, my feet and knees were working hard, and I was sweaty within 10 minutes. We did stop a couple of times to let people pass us. One was an undergraduat-y looking guy who seemed to be jogging up the rocky hill. that's nice for him. The other was a group of women that we dubbed the "Barbie goes Hiking" group - they were having constant conversation about wedding vows and wedding vow renewals. We decided having them beat us for the front position was fine if it meant we didn't have to listen to them. But for the most part we were walking or hiking UP for 40-60 minutes steadily.
We did not make it to the lake. I would be willing to go back there with the right person or people (someone who is not leaping and jogging up the hill, people who get that I'm a little slower not because I'm wussy but because I have to do it right) and the water and food to do it for the day. But it was 5 miles to the lake, so 10 miles round trip. Nope, not our plan for the day. But we broke a good sweat and various sources estimate that we burned between 700-900 calories. It was great that we got to see some gorgeous pictures, amazing views, and quiet (minus the Barbie hikers). We realized as we were leaving that when we arrived there were half a dozen or so cars parked and when we left it was a full lot. We got there at the right time). And I got an opportunity to put everything I've been working on for the last 18 months into practice.
You would miss one run and sign up for one blister for this, right?
Then, we went shopping. I like to remember my trips by buying things I don't need.
I kept it under budget this time, and will always remember my awesome, unplanned, serendipitous weekend with my friend when I look at my bowl, pointless but hilarious little-shop-of-horrors steel art, and phone charger shelf. Happy, happy Christie. Thank you, thank you friend for being cool, smart, hilarious, and a fabulous friend.
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