My perfect job

Two friends have suggested I get very clear on what my perfect job would be. One of these friends believes very much in the beautiful order that can sometimes emerge in the chaos of the universe. The other believes very deeply in God and thus believes that nothing is completely random.

But the fact that I had this request twice in 24 hours, and from two people who have been helping me job search pretty intensely, felt like a sign to me.

I've been spending some time talking to God. My prayer is a little different depending on what I am most feeling and dealing with at the moment. And no, this doesn't doesn't answer my continuing questions about God. Or solve my issues in that relationship.

"God, I'm really scared. I know I need to learn to accept help and support from you and my loved ones, but please don't make that mean I have to move into someone's basement. I am trying to talk to you every day so that I can build a stronger bond with you. I know there are broken parts of my life I can't fix on my own, and I know needing help means I won't always be in control. I know I need to learn that lesson. Please help to guide me into seeing this as an opportunity for a better job, and a better way to be me. I want to believe that I can have that and deserve it. Please help me be patient, diligent, faithful, and to have the conviction to discern what the right next steps are. I know not my will, but yours, will be done but I am hoping for this to be a good change, not a scary one. In your name. Amen."

Sometimes the prayer is like this, "Please help me to forgive, move on, and let go of my bitterness." Or even, "Keep my ass in gear big guy - this is not time to get depressed and paralyzed."

Other times the prayer is just an unspoken wish, a picture in my head of what I want life to be like.

And it's like that bad joke. "A flood came and wiped out a town. A man got up on his roof, and watched as his house and belongings were submerged. A towns' person came running by saying, 'Mister, follow me! We can still leave." and he said, "Thanks, but no thanks. I believe in God. I go to church. I pray. God will save me.' The water rises, and soon a boat comes by and the people in it call out, "Come with us. we'll save you!' And the man shakes his head and says, 'I believe in God. I go to church. I pray. God will save me.' the water rises more and is washing everything away. a Helicopter flies over and lowers a ladder to the man, but he refuses saying, 'I believe in God. I go to church. I pray. God will save me.' The flood wipes everything out, and the man dies, and as he stands in front of God he grows angry and says, 'God, I believed in you. I went to church. I prayed. Why didn't you save me?' and God says, 'I sent a man, a boat, and a helicopter to you. Not to mention my only son! Why are you here?' "

I can't ignore when things converge, even if I don't know what it means to me. I've been praying for a job, for a pathway, for the ability to accept help and be patient. And now two of my friends have come by during the flood and called up to me on the roof, "Hey, make sure you know what you're looking for before you go out there."

So, here goes.

My perfect job is to get paid to write this. Except, I'm not sure that job exists. And if it did, would writing this blog be as much fun for me? Sometimes getting paid for an avocation makes it less meaningful (there are psych studies showing this!), less enjoyable. Either way, I'm pretty sure that job doesn't come with benefits. Which I badly need.

So, next down on the list is being in a position involving teaching/training. I've looked at non-traditional paths to teaching certification, adjuncting at the college level, but I have looked mainly at corporate training.

At this point, I would like to have a blend of working independently vs. working in a team or larger group setting, and to be working with "the right people on the bus" as Jim Collins would say. I value working with people and organizations that are passionate not just about positive change and impact, but evaluating how best to deliver positive change. I am primarily looking into non-profits, health or human service, or education groups because I would like to work with groups that make decisions about what is best for their employees or "clients" (or the targeted outcomes they are trying to achieve) based on value that is calculated in ways beyond the bottom line. I would dearly like to work in the realm of education and/or in ways that call on my expertise in working with students of many ages. Most of all, I want the kind of job that excites me each day; in other words, something I truly believe in. I also value organizations that hire individuals in the hopes of allowing them to grow in and beyond their current position and/or that promote ongoing professional/educational development in their associates.

I need a workplace that appreciates my long memory, perfectionism, attention to detail, organization, communication, and honesty. I'm loyal and hard working, so being surrounded by like minded people is a plus. I do not have IT, publishing, or e-Learning experience, but I'm all for getting some. I do have teaching, consulting, and professional development experience.

What I learned from my last job is this - being good at something and liking it aren't always the same thing, but can easily be mistaken for one another. I also learned that there is a limitation to how much change one person can render alone, and without support. So, for-profit or non-profit, educational or business centered, the organization must be one that values hiring people to grow into other roles, has integrity, and puts real thought into supporting their people.

It seems like a lot to ask, right?

I know, but I have to believe this happened for a reason and that it allows me to find something much closer to my dream job. Or at least I have to believe it when I'm not too consumed by freaking out.